Serendipity
My conversation with God
ME: Dear God, why do I have tons of work to do? Why do I have to be part of the over-worked proletariat and not a shallow, partying, hotel heiress airhead instead?
GOD: My child, you were apprehensive that you and your husband would not be able to send your two children to school, right? And lo and behold! I have inundated you both with an overwhelming deluge of work, projects, and business opportunities so that you may send your beautiful children to the best schools and that they may grow in wisdom and learning. As for partying hotel heiresses, the hand of the Devil is at work there.
ME: I suppose so. But, God, remember when I told You about my preference for the Almighty Dollar instead of the measly peso? It's not that I'm not grateful, but I did opt for the 'rich-American-Citizen-uncle-I've-never-even -heard-of-keels-over-and-makes-me-inherit-loads-of-pelf' route.
GOD: Of course I remember everything that you tell me. But if I gave you what you wanted, then would you appreciate My generous bounty? You would undoubtedly fritter it all away on useless vanities and material things such as authentic Prada (not Prado) bags, Manolo Blahnik stilettos and daily spa visits.
ME: Well, now that you mentioned it ... I admit, I do have a penchant for designer bags and shoes. If You want, I'll just go for the 'Canal-Street-choose-your-brand -and-I'll-glue-it-while-you-wait' option. But the spa visits, that's negotiable, right?
GOD: My child. You still have much to learn about me. Don't you know that I also have plans for the manufacturers of those counterfeit and pirated products? You are merely too flawed, too mortal to fully comprehend My grand scheme. But I forgive you, so quit questioning Me every time we have these conversations.
ME: Forgive me Lord. There's just no winning when I talk to You. As usual, You are so right. In fact, You are always right. But if You didn't want me to question, why did You make me this way? A chronically questioning human being who is prone to vanity, I might add?
GOD: Ah, more questions. Unfortunately child, this, too, is beyond your mortal understanding. I work in mysterious ways -- I thought you knew that already? Shame on you, didn't you learn anything after years of going to that Catholic school?
ME: You always give me that 'I work in mysterious ways' rationale. Okay, I lose. I just can't win with You.
GOD: But that's where you're mistaken. The fact that you're My child makes you the most blessed winner of all. Now stop lamenting and do your job. I have a job to do too, you know. I don't know why I even bother responding to you when you're in your griping, questioning mode. Hmm, I ought to relegate you to some minor saint... what do you say to that?
ME: Whatever you say, Lord. You're the boss. But I know You won't be able to resist Me. You won't let a pesky sheep like me go astray. It's in Your parables. Come to think of it, I did learn something from that Catholic school after all...
Note: Normally, I keep my conversations with God to myself, but today is 'LIFT UP YOUR WHYS AND WHATNOTS TO THE LORD' DAY. So, I'm making you privy to my talk with the Almighty. Of course in our unedited conversation, He had the last say and the last word. But hey, this is my column, so until He has His own, I get to decide what I'll write here. Sorry, Lord.